only if we run a train.
done.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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