i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize