I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
