can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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