i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
