We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
