Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

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(512): View more from Texas

Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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(647): View more from Ontario

Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

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(540): View more from Virginia

Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.

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(727): View more from Florida

Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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(314): View more from Missouri

I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.

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(951): View more from California

Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening

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