Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
