get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
did you just send me my own nude
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
