I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just wanna soil my oats bro
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
