In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
