Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize