the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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