It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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