I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
