I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
