I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
pray to the hookup gods
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
