How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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