Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
