It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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