I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
