Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
