just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
