This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
