Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There r osticjed everywhere
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
