We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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