I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
