There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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