Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
