when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
