Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
