I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize