The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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