You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
