you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
