I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
