not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
