Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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