I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
