batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
