I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize