The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
