Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
