To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize