The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
