Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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