She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
