some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
