im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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