I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just had sex on a roof
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize