Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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