Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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