I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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