Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
