I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
