he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
