I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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