i would punch a child for taco bell
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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