I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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