Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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