Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
