She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hippo gnu deer
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
