We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
