So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
