Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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