i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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