I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
