He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
