also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
