No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize