I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
