i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
