my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
