i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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