she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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